pleasereadifyoucarebutnobodydoessoitsfine

hey guys so i'm a failure to my parents and such. so i might just delete my account. my life is a pile of sdlkj and my grades are slipping and my mentality is going downhill at an alarming rate. i've taken up old habits that i shouldn't. old memories arise and life just sucks really bad right now. i either will delete my account altogether, leave and not come back, or only come on maybe once a week. who knows. not me. i don't know crap. i know i can't just push people out of my life, but i wish that i could just be evil and heartless. maybe then i'd not care and just die lonely so nobody has to be sad if i leave. but i can't. i'm a horrible person and nobody knows who i really am. possibly. i don't even know if i know who i am. i feel so exposed and my walls are crumbling and i'm breaking into millions of pieces. i almost broke tonight and told my parents everything. by everything i mean EVERYTHING ABOUT ME THAT THEY DON'T SEE/KNOW. all of my crap. vomited in front of them. but i didn't. just stood there and got angrier and angrier as they tried to tell me i'm wrong and that i'm not going to make it in life if i get grades like this and they can't send me to college if i have grades like this (btw my grades aren't that horrible, and i'm working my butt off at the moment) and they'd send me to the army if they cannot pay for college. i hate my f'ing life. thats all there is to it. i can't take this much longer. so basically if you skipped that i might delete my account and go die in a hole. pretty much.